In our class discussion Wednesday, the point was brought up that the digital age has forced people to define themselves and question their identity more than in the past. As I thought more about this, I realized this is precisely the reason why I have a Facebook but never post any status updates and why I refuse to fill in the rest of my online profile. I have an aversion to being defined.
Even in face-to-face conversations with strangers or acquaintances I feel uncomfortable when someone asks what I like to do or what my hobbies are. Essentially there are these sorts of questions in our culture that help us learn more about an individual, but they also help us categorize an individual, define what sort of person he or she is, and allow us to make judgements about whether we'd like to spend more or less time with this individual. Defining and categorizing are natural human functions, and they are an essential part of living in a society, but this knowledge still doesn't reassure me. I suppose in a way I feel that when I am forced to define myself, the definition cheapens my identity. How can you really explain who you are in a few sentences or with a few pictures or with what pages you like on Facebook?
Perhaps my aversion to being defined also comes from always being labeled "shy" in school. If someone is shy, then of course they are all of the connotations that go with it: quiet, timid, uninteresting, not fun, and someone to be ignored. My peers didn't treat me poorly; I had friends, but I felt muted by this perception or definition of me. If I did something an extroverted person would do, it shocked many of my classmates. Once you've been defined, the parameters of behavior appropriate for your definition have also been defined. And if your behavior deviates from those parameters, then all hell breaks loose. Ok that last line was a little dramatic, but I'm sure you've all been in a situation where you acted contrary to how someone expected you to act, and they just couldn't wrap their head around it.
I also value substantive, intimate connections with people. There are few things I enjoy more than an engaging fulfilling conversation. I feel that sincerity in online communication is achieved despite the superficial filters of our online identities rather than because of them. I guess I like it when people's words and actions speak for themselves. I know this goes against the argument that ethos is very important in online communication, and part of creating a positive ethos is to have a positive online identity. I agree with this point; ethos certainly is important in online communication. However, I still feel at times that online identities are little more than carefully-crafted packaging that attracts interaction with onlookers but doesn't authentically communicate what's inside the box.
I really enjoyed this post. I have noticed that I have a similar aversion to posting on social media sites for similar reasons. It is always frustrating to decide which facets of your personality you want to show to the world-- especially knowing that you will be stereotyped because of it.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has more social media profiles than I really should it was very interesting to read your post. I really liked some of the points that you made, and I can commiserate with you in hating being asked "what you like to do?" My absolute least favorite is on the first day of classes when you have to introduce yourself with a fun fact. How am I supposed to define myself with one random fact?
ReplyDeleteBut, your post has got me questioning how do you know when you have enough of an online presence to make people interested in figuring you out, but not so much of one that people think you are completely figure-out-able from your online profiles. But, there is really absolutely no avoiding people making assumptions about you from what you post online, whether there is a lot or just a little.
Thank you both for your comments. You bring up some interesting points Danielle. It is completely true that people will make assumptions about you no matter what. And I know exactly what you mean with the first day of class thing. I never know what to say for the interesting fact. I suppose maybe my fear is if I define myself too much through social media that somehow I'll become a sort of caricature and my online identity just won't seem real, but oh well.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate this post. I never had a MySpace, I deleted my facebook, tried Twitter but never got into it, have a YouTube account but only to make my own private playlists, and use blogging and Google+ for this class. Some of it is because I don't like being personal, but even when having an avatar of myself on the internet where I can be whatever kind of person I want to be, it's overwhelming keeping up with so many versions of myself.
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